WHIMPER

A note of dissent in you

Is  sufficient to shift the Spring

to some cactus infested shores

where dead shells sigh in pitiable scatters ;

a  single shadow of anger on your face

sends  me to thousand whimpers

in  a  solitude where I sob like a child

and  ask myself why I caused this little anger  in you

as  you turn away like the evening  shadow

to  a corner sulking like  a lonely sickle moon  

in  a cloudless sky ;

failing  to understand subtle emotions of love

and   frequent mood swings

I  keep on wondering as to why

You are so moody

And still moodier this poor lover  I  !!!

Copm. N copyright: saroj k. padhi

TURMOIL

There I stand speechless
unable to express
how much I long
to die into d contours
of this earth, the hill nearby
the music of the stream
and  above, the vast sky.
In moments like this
again something holds me back—

is it some unknown fear
or excessive self love,
anxiety
or incapacity
why this inner turmoil??

Why do I recoil
to remember in silence
and adore in secrecy
your magnificence??

Tell me why
I want to die again and again
into the earth, hill, stream and the sky
that so beautifully in you lie.

Comp. n copyright: saroj k. padhi

RATHAYATRA

Here there is :
an inescapable attraction,
an inexplicable emotion
and an irrepresible desire 
to be drawn to the Badadanda
where dusts sing of the Great lord’s glory
where each speck speaks of a past story
and His immense hands stretch out into infinity
wet with a desire to touch million hearts
perhaps at a still point
in their beats’ relentless hurry !

Here beggars are masters
Pricing love over money ;
and masters are beggars
in spite of all their honey;
each of them striving endlessly
for a place at the heart of the great lord
and for peace after reaching the door of God .

Come, let us fold ourselves into a big bunch
with innocence at the center of a bouquet
in sprinkles of our tears thoroughly wet
for an offer after Yatra in an hour all quiet.

Copy r. : Saroj K. Padhi/30.06.14

YOUR SHADOW

Still trembling my hands are caught
groping wildly
for your shadows
clinging onto my wall 
during your last visit—
that image of wet Spring
on Summer’s dry breast ;
I remember how you left in a haste
that afternoon
without looking back,
I stood there all aback
like a thunder’s terrified stance
at the sudden break of a lightning
that burnt a heart
and a head loudly aching ;
I retreated into my cocoon
woven out of your warm memories
lying scattered like pearls
on the floor of my rosy dreams ;
and I scream now like a child
for a doll broken by an earthquake
that then was all of a sudden washed away
by Sorrow’s unknown strong streams.
Comp. n copy right: saroj k. padhi
26/05/14

DESIRE
By: Dr.Saroj Padhi
The half-moon is not so bright 
But awakens dormant desires
Of many shreds this very night.
The sky of your body spreads out
With desire in every pore
Pining to contain love
Behind heaven’s closed door.
Honey of affection from across the foliage green
Drenches my entire being ,
In a blue ecstasy of music
Does my soul sing .
Hold me longer dear Cool
To your empty spaces, thirsty crevices
Swallow me gently, suck me to the full
Silence this restive spirit-
Time’s wandering bull.

Let me die slowly into your sluices
Like the foamy waters
Of the Salandi in spate
In tides of wild overflow
Without any trace of hate.
For we are all love-
In showers of crazy beams
From heaven’s wet boughs;
You are my wild infinity
And I, a captive geometry.
Here dissolve all dark beneath my skin
Into the colours of your white petals
That spring from the Earth
In tune with love’s quiet glow
O fountain make me your flow
For you are my root
And I a foisted bough
Waiting for the wind’s blow;
I flounder, I stumble
Make me a little slow.
Suck me into the blue smokes
Of the silent fire that cools the hot Earth
Let me have that final fall
Let me, let me die
Into a honeyed new birth.
*******************************************************

A poem for a rose

                                 By : Dr. Saroj kumar Padhi

You blush so sweetly

In the morning of my pain

When thorns of love

Prick my wet consciousness

I eagerly run to you

With  jugful of  tears

Shed in lonely nights

Anguished by your absence.

You, my love of youthful nights

My dream of tomorrows

My ecstasy, my pain

My losses, my gain

My summer, my rain

My freedom, my chain

I consecrate myself

At your sweet root

For adding a blush to your vein

Therefore I’m so

Madly in love with pain.

CHILD LABORERS

Where did you leave your childhood ?
Behind brick kilns, farms, factories
roads , parlors or hotels
buildings, crushers or motels
with stains of humiliation
stinging your bodies
and souls sickened
under tantrums and tortures ?

Weren’t your cute smiles
powerful enough to disarm them
while systematically destroying
your innocence divine !

Where is the natural lost
under the cover of artificial essence ?
Where is beauty lost
beneath layers of made up appearance ??
And innocence lost
under whips of forced experience???

GIRL CHILD

Every day she dies in the womb before she is born
every eight minutes she is abducted 
raped , murdered or mutilated ,
every minute, outraged
every second, scorned and hated ;
every moment curling up
into an abyss of utter helplessness
before picking up a voice to speak,
her words forced to melt
into cries and a long shriek .

She is to a misty future bound
With her words that resound
without any real sound
in the hollows of our unconcern
where we also emptily burn
with enough space for them to bleed
only with a select few from gen new
who to her growing woes like to heed .

How long have they to suffer like this ?
Those darling dolls of lost fathers
who were made to suddenly vanish
into deserts of a wild cactus
where deadly serpents hiss
defying all set rules
and branding life on this Earth
a sheer blemish !

When will those dead Shikhandinis rise
from purgative fire to fight
and win back their basic right
for the second sex’s
true and free self to flourish !!!

comp. n copyright: saroj k. padhi.
25/06/14

YOUR SHADOW

Still trembling my hands are caught 
groping wildly 
for your shadows
clinging onto my wall 
during your last visit—
that image of wet Spring
on Summer’s dry breast ;
I remember how you left in a haste
that afternoon
without looking back,
I stood there all aback
like a thunder’s terrified stance
at the sudden break of a lightning
that burnt a heart
and a head loudly aching ;
I retreated into my cocoon
woven out of your warm memories
lying scattered like pearls
on the floor of my rosy dreams ;
and I scream now like a child
for a doll broken by an earthquake
that then was all of a sudden washed away
by Sorrow’s unknown strong streams.

LOVE REVISITED 

(published by Ed. Nissim Ezekiel 
in The Indian Pen, April-June, 1997)

You played many deadly games
with my growing years :
you , my love,
my past agony,
present tears
and future fears.

With your first look
demolished the watergates
of a over-flooding heart;
a song rose from the womb
of currents and crumbling pieces,
to a baffled mind
sheltered by a forest in fire
burning out fast into ashes.

With your first touch
earthquakes shook the soul;
stories of love
got carved at every pore
piping divine joy
and this body became so dear,
but soon afterwards
it was there no more
and Time became
the cause of my constant fear.

With your first kiss
on my lips
a hot-honeyed moon
burnt with a sweet fire ;
I wandered mad as noon
beyond bounds of Earth and Sky
to strange wild deeps
and thoughts soaring quite high
so thirsty for rain
from an endearing heaven
with hopes
for body’s release
from the chains
of constant pain !

Bound to this life
the petals of youth fade;
ageing with wounds and burns
downwards I spread
to the root
from which lives sprout;
but my tongue is drying up
as if in this year’s drought.

Come Love, fulfill me
don’t play this hide and seek.
Release me from chains
for upward rise of the soul sleek.

Comp. n copyright : saroj k. padhi

AND LOVE RETURNS !

(published in The Phoenix, March, 2001)

Wading through the muddy street

as  I trace tottering steps

towards your dream-drenched self,

this fag end of March

bursts forth

in the desire of green mangoes

to muzzle the flirting air

soaked in smell of your tumbling hair ;

birds swoop down

to Earth’s shrunken breasts

to nest awhile and sing

of  the fading musk

in  body of late lusty Spring ;

bees suck from beads

of soft-scented dew on lips

and  in the temporary swelling of cells

there  a joy dwells

to ring in the dales of a familiar mind

where you dwell as a flickering image

to sometimes a form or two find

in the crumpled petals of jasmine

dried up inside my jeans

with a little hope to revive it seems

the aroma lost at the edge of my hands

fidgeting again and again

only to retreat to an endless pain

when the dark fluid of love

drips from the Century’s wilted thighs

mocking  the seekers’ lovelorn hands,

indecisive   steps

and  hollow transfixed eyes !!!

comp. n copyright: saroj k. padhi

RAPE VICTIM
-----------------          DR SAROJ KUMAR PADHI

A moment's male lust
makes a corpse of me,
I turn into a nameless woman
in search of a name;
blaming the moment
bewailing the loss 
and asking myself
what made them prey me like that--
slay each cell, munch each bone
and suck all liquid
while my soul wrenched
under merciless strokes of Time.

You left me dripping blood,
sizzling with impotent anger
in my crushed womb
all mute and dumb
and cursing the stars.

You butchered my body
bruised my soul
traumatized my mind
defaced my goal
demolished my dreams
left me alone groping for air
with d earth crumbling under me
and the rest of my life --

a series of screams;
breathless, purposeless
i wander --
a nameless living ghost.

Who will save me ?
Who will draw me ashore
as i drown here
in the sea of life's steep coast???

Comp. n copyright:S. K.Padhi

PEACE
For God’s sake, please stop trying to communicate
when I am in a deep communion here, with the rocks
dozing in the aftermath of a siesta filled with dreams
that we normally dream : of a greater greenery
in the breezy clouds of sweet , lovely streams .

Please stop talking when here the birds ponder
before they copulate in the thick of branches green
with their love in our interest , before in dark they preen;
and desires their feathers gently ruffle
under a bright moon sheen..

Please stop chattering when the leaves here
whisper the secrets of being at peace
in tune with the bewitching breeze
with our souls rising from distress
to sing in life with a better sweetness.

Comp. n Copyright: saroj k. padhi

GODDESS OF SMALL FLING

( published in Replica, in 2001)

When I asked for a little love

you  planted a bomb on my lips.

Thank God it was not of the exploding kind

but soon I found myself in the dangerous deeps

where splinters of dead lovers’ being lay

after the silent shocking blast, an utter dismay !

Sinking still deeper asked for a little kindness,

you  brought the battered self to the surface

but again dribbled some strange potion into the mouth

killing  the dying soul with  surplus kisses

for  I burned and burned till the Sun was out

leaving  behind a huge heap of  blinking ashes.

This  is no politics of blame dear

for I admire  your  style of loving.

Who else could from darkness to light bring?

Save you  O my Goddess of small fling !!

Comp. n copyright :Saroj K Padhi

MONSOON- SPRING 

A Spring so very different never I found
As I moved like an aimless ant round and round
to find winking pink flowers on the grassy ground --
at the crossroads of a fading Summer and a faltering rain
when drizzles enough had drenched them
painting the grass further green
inciting morning birds
to their bodies fondle and preen ;
the Koel moaning over the lost hour
of secret love
in the gnarled boughs baring ,yawning
and again softly murmuring
under the touch of the first shower
after their lusty drink of rain water
to burst with new twigs
under clouds’ sharp digs ;
the sparrows soaked , moving their bills
in a nostalgic search for youth lost
in the gaspings of cruel noons so hot ;
and the mynah couple sweetly aching
in Kadamba’s excited bowers
to enact amorous Radha-Krishna ,
when Gopis’ garments hung
in globe shaped clusters
of scented orange flowers
in the body of Monsoon love
under wisps of lean showers .

Comp. n copyright : saroj k. padhi
19/06/14

CATCH IF YOU CAN

Catch if you can when you wanna win,
Pearls of silence at the heart of noise
confounding reason from all sides ;
the breeze of breath beneath all storms
when dust of destruction there rises ;
catch if can when you wanna win,
defeat by the pointed grey horns
when caught at the edge of success
and the pounding heart sadly burns ;
catch if you can when you wanna win
tides of dark levitated emotions
in the sure net of your inner smiles
with sponge of love to soak tears
as you walk your lonely miles.

Composition n copyright :
Saroj kumar padhi/18.06.14

FIRST RAIN

You are the chill in the oozing drops

leaping  with lion’s force

onto  an Earth’s surface

anguished  for days in wait for the solace

that flow  like a cool cocktail

slaking  the thirst of Chataks in distress ;

the noise of a tinkling piu piu

while  pools of desire fill with water ,

the  sound  of satisfaction

during  quenching of pure passion ;

the fiery fizz of unwritten rhymes

bursting out of the bottle of poetry

buzzing at the brim to flow and sing,

a  lightning  in the heart of thunder ;

in soul’s  towering temple

a  blaring conch’s golden ring ,

a preparation  for the journey to above

after those drops’ desired drink .

comp. n copyright : saroj k. padhi

17/06/14

RAJA

That Raja you stretched out as a long ,endearing river 
across the length and breadth of the bed 
of my sprawling sands 
whisperimg the secrets of your puberty
into the layers of underlying fallow lands
surrounding us on all sides,

This Raja in the shadow of remote rain 
you are the lovelorn cry of a peacock
caught as a lump inside a dry throat
in the thick of my leafy body
burning with a desire for death in silent pain .

comp. n copyright : saroj k. padhi
14/06 /14

SAGGING SAILS !

With no sync in the practice of birds dillydallying
in their efforts at a background note ,
to the morning raag Bhairabi in the wind
seem powerless to catch the crescendo ;

black butterflies smear pollen dust on my skin
trying to add color to my fading dreams ;
the koel on the bare tree
bursts into periodic outflows in a hurry to invite
leaves to bare branches that can preempt the oncoming
deluge lurking in the distant sea wind ;
its brooding pauses interrogating the unusual
silence in the south-west monsoon wind ;
the squirrel hops from the nearby leafy tree
to sprinkle sands into a distant sea
in a bid to rescue an enervated Sun from drowning .

People in groups discuss the cruelty of gods
urging Nature to customs turn blind
and making offensive caricature of the Great Lord
with such a ridiculously poor shower
not enough even to drench a single finger.

The black ants sniff a rise in sugar level
In the weak body politic dithering to strike back
at intermittent violations at the border;
and signals of black destruction surfing a sea
determined to munch away the vulnerable coasts
wallowing in thirst and acute hunger ;

we are caught as if in a fix , unable to strike
when you stretch out into a formless image unkind !
and I into endless loiters in the corridors of an eunuch time
with my love paralyzed in the terrace of a sinking mankind !!
and challenging all the myths and metaphors in an impoverished mind !!!

composition n copyright : saroj kumar padhi
16/06/14

GREEN CHILLI

More exciting than extra-marital

more in the initial than, they say , in the final

better than   the legal  in any  nuptial

its  tremptress body in green

offering   small  bites

to lusty  tastes under grin.

What is Indian food

in its absence

If on table it’s not seen ?

Zealous enough to kick the tip

In its maiden affair

arousing  jealousy in others’ skin

if taken in right dosage

without hurting tongue

, stomach or intestine

it’s not a sin;

but  if  eaten greedily

it  leads to many a fall :

causing  bitter sores on wall :

some to fall out with  their partners

and many others to fall 

as in revenge tragedy

before the whistle declares

the  end of  one’s scene.

Composition n copyright :saroj kumar padhi

14/06/14

 

WHAT STARS !
What stars do I see in the sky ? 
Are you :
Twinkling grains of the first glow of love on Sky’s maiden cheeks ?
Blazing trails of pure pearls cast across the shores of seas ?
Flowers that bountily blossom on heaven’s Christmas trees?
Necklaces of diamond around women’s slim necks ?
Or gleaming ‘ souls in conference’ of our ancient sages?

Shiny sand grains of love inside the loosened fists of God?
The brightly lit altars for enlightened recluses
who prefer to meditate in the open stretches ?
Nature’s fancy wear to please a polygamous Earth
In hide and seek with other greener women
Like rainbow, lightning, moon and rain ?

Whatever you be ?

Whatever be the mystery behind your tantalizing charm
you are the soul of many stories of love both cold and warm
you are the twinkling complexion on love’s pretty face
you are the beauty of this universe and its endless grace.

Composition n copyright :saroj k. padhi

12/06/14

WHY POETRY ?

Poetry , I think , is a palpable wire that binds lives of all forms and size , putting a disarrayed ‘dust of individuals’ into a common stream, evoking in them responses to certain strong feels about certain aspects of individual as well as social life in a language that touches,titillates,arouses and enlightens ; a balm that heals , a flower that blooms under mossy stones of life’s multiple streams to arouse the waters at the depth to a new feeling , a commitment genuine to all relationships trying to bring in love even in desert- like situations in real life ,a peace that awakens souls to prayer, and many more things… inexplicably so true !!!

saroj k padhi

FIRST CRUSH  !

By what name should I call  you ?

You ,the gilded  manuscript of scribbles

about  my feelings of first love,

gifted to her after thousand sleepless nights’

million and one  falters

that couldn’t touch even the fringe of her mind !

You, the  scarlet  graffiti  of her name

leisurely  cut out with pain to show love

under the strokes of Time’s sharp knife

without use of any after balm

in  the heart of my chaste palm !!

You , the quick,frenzied strumming of the strings

of her guitar like body  under the crazy gaze

of  June’s  raging sun  ,unable to strike

the  correct  notes of a self- written song !!!

You, the first look of a desiring moon

on  love’s dewy lips  stretching the tendrils

of   a passionate cucumber plant in my yard

inducing  many more flowers to bloom ,

and  promising more fruits on card

when  the night insects shrieked out

to   the rhythms of her swollen bosom !!!!

What should I call you tell my dear little Chum?

composition n copyright :saroj k. padhi

11/06/14

 

AMNESIA

A moon lurched on a lonely street

behind  the bar of  dark clouds

after a heavy bout of drink

of foaming gin

in  deep ocean green

tumbles  out of the sky,

to a fallow field nearby

to rise up again

and  catch up with the girl of his dream

but alas  !  In the wild goose chase

in  lust’s heavy craze

he forgets her image

to drown again in an ocean of pain ,

losing the lines of his unwritten love poem

in the furrows of water

and all ink spilt from inside the pen

to the ocean’s dark floor ;

and  in the morning he wakes up

amnesic about all his past wounds ,

with a star caressing his cheeks

and  all their dry barks

dropped into

some  invisible creeks .

composition  and copyright :

saroj k. padhi

THE TABLE MOUNTAIN

Here as I scribble your name

on the blazing face of the rock

at the top of this Table Mountain

the  lime stone chalk in my hand

in its  white rush

gives  a silent blush

arousing the jealous sun

to dart behind the cloud  and wink

and a silhouette moon softly to blink ;

soon your glow spreads around

kissing faces below and above

sprinkling drops of scarlet love :

on  petals of wild flowers

white and pink

to a sticky dew ,

drenching   velvet body

of  the Elephant Mountain

in  a fresh green hue ,

the statue of Vivekananda

and  at its base, a meditating few ,

dripping  peace from the flag

of  Lord Jagannath under a limitless blue

and  all the humble half-sleeping houses

on carved out  slopes of the small town

like tired wings of butterflies

stuck in a crimson glue ;

here my native friend Nilu

sings  as he collects dry twigs

with a strange content in his voice

(brewed by gruel and rice water !)

And joins me to echo your name

in the caves of all mountains

hearts of hamlets

and  hearts of friends

with feelings so very new !!!    

composition n copyright :

saroj kumar padhi

10/06/14

 GARDEN SMOKE

Smells from burnt out leaves in heaps

coiling upwards  with their dispassionate wings

caught  in the trap of a stale air for sometime

sign  an MOU with the wind for release

on  request from roses and tuberoses,

the  solitary Casuarina celebrates

with an applause

echoing the joy of a wild Bay in the garden

of  your sprawling body ;

the  diminishing rays of  a disinterested Sun

relax on the grassy mound

when owls yawn inside tree-hollows

waking  from sleep

to prepare for a good catch of the night ,

coils  leave  burying thoughts

of sudden blast deaths  during the day

in the womb of a darkening sky

and  the garden leaves return

to   soft shivers of delight

which deep at the heart of the garden lay.

Copyrighted :Saroj K. Padhi

09/06/14