KALBAISAKHI

Drops of rain sink in,
cells swell
to be quelled
by a cold wind blowing across
soon after a small Kalbaisakhi—

a sudden gush of blood inside
receding to a quick but queer hush;


I know not
why I always think
you are there in every feel of this wind,
in each little wave of this mind,
in every breath of each green leaf,
in every quiver of this lovelorn lip,
in whispers of soft rain
in every shred of cool pain;

in every particle of this earth
in my every new birth,

in my dreams and screams
you are the only goal;
you are the music of life
in the silent rhythm of this soul !

***

RESTLESS

What restlessness is this?

Time and again trying not to think of you
pressing the call button and foiling,
deleting your  number,
and then retrieving it

not to call again;

trying  not  to smile
and again smiling to self in secrecy
recollecting  the dying words
that dropped from the draped petals

of your dry lips
when the wind played
a baffling symphony
to tune my disarrayed thoughts.

Is it love imagined
or  sheer pull of lust?
Is it a fake feeling
or true trust?

Why this restlessness
in your absence?

Tell me , Jasmines of the night
your aroma speaks volumes
though you are hidden from sight;

hold me ,hug me

as I totter here
and fall into pieces

in your absence

this very night.

Comp. n copy right :

saroj k.padhi

DECEMBER

December taught me

how to catch moments of eternity

in the lazy flow of ordinary time;

how to find bliss

in the soft fall of pearls

from  your half smile;

how  to forget the clock

under  the bower of your black lock;

how to love dearer

breathe deeper

and be calm in midst of the turbid flow

of muddy water 

inside  life’s  shallow river ;

how to dream inside a ferry

and swim across worry

how to dance and be merry

and not to hurry

when caught in whirls of water

at the fuming mouth

where the sea takes over,

and surely though slowly

you are led to

an infinite joy

at the discovery of a lost river

at your feet

inside the vast blue sea

wherein life flows like a wonder

while you lie in lap of a sweet fairy.

comp. n copy right : saroj k. padhi

06/12/13

HUMMING HEART

The bees hum to me a secret

As the leaves  shine and sway

In the morning breeze

Before  full  break  of day.

A secret I can’t reveal

In words or jestures

Or in volume’s full  play.

The hum draws me closer

As I pass by

Filling me with wonder

To stop and stay nearby.

Leaning to the flowers

I listen to their song

Telling about the secret of

Love’s journey always long

That leads to union of hearts

When ego is afar  flung.

And you are left to suck

The dew of loneliness

When honey from life is gone !

Comp. n copy right : saroj k. padhi

29/08/14

SO CLOSE YET SO FAR !

Words at times stare and stammer
under duress of too much love 

but also oft’ during lone moments
when beats are betrayed
By your absence 

and your shadow haunts 
like an old adamant ache;
I’m unable
to clearly utter your name
as my lips like timid leaves shake.

Words fumble and shiver
when you quiver in my heart
under night’s warm cover,
pining for old love
without any qualms
during desire’s hot fever .

I want to write your name
in words all new
but feelings old, deep though few;

hence come dear love 
to kiss the dew
of my sweet love
in these moments of life
when there is hardly any space 
between me and you.

comp. n copy right : saroj k. padhi

TURMOIL

There I stand speechless
unable to express
how much I long
to die into the contours
of this earth, the hill nearby
the music of the stream
and  above, the vast sky.
In moments like this
again something holds me back—

Is it some unknown fear
or excessive self love,
anxiety
or incapacity
why this inner turmoil??

Why do I recoil
to remember in silence
and adore in secrecy
your magnificence??

Tell me why
I want to die again and again
into the earth, hill, stream and the sky
that so beautifully in you lie.

Comp. n copyright: saroj k. padhi

WEIRD

‘Am I weird ?’ asked the poet

And the rose at the garden’s corner smiled

And said ‘I don’t care to know that,

As I love all your ways

Including the way  me, you beguiled ;

‘Am I weird?’ asked the poet

She  said ‘I love you

Always in your grip of me,  all wild

And I don’t care to know that,

As I also love you

When you are also soft and mild.’

Am I weird? asked the poet

And the Koel  said ’I love you

For the way your ears respect my songs

In the grove of  our sweet meets

And also inside the nest of my charmed mind !’

Comp. n copy right : saroj k. padhi

26/08/14

GLORY

You are the tremble in the leaves

At the onset of every wind

The shiver in each heart

At Nature’s every little find

The madness in   the wings in flight

The sweet  anarchy in the bees’haunts

As they move to newer delight

The charm in the unsteadiness with which

From heights of conquest

To depths of calm that dragonflies alight

The white glory in the feathers of herons

In their movements under a sun so bright

The pink pureness in the body of grass flowers

At my feet as they wink at the clouds in lazy flight

I love and salute you

Glory in each form glory in every feel and every sight.

Saroj k. padhi—copyright n comp. 25/08/14

               

PLEASURE

Some unfulfilled pleasures peep from the corners
Of a yellowing mind with their uneasy stirs;

As the night wind kisses the insomniac moon 
Arousing her to hug dark clouds of nocturnal love
And drop a few pearls of rain to the hungry Earth
Promising many a new birth,
Feeding your image with nectar of hunger
Drops in my eyes draped in rainbow of your desire
Also fall ;

To create that symphony of union
Of memory with mire
Of love with desire
Of rain with pain
of sound with silence
of twitters with flutters
of dives with buoyancy
and my desiring love with your ever widening fancy.

Comp. n copy right : saroj k. padhi
23/o8 14

WATERY GRAVE

Can’t you see these drops in my eyes

Stashed here from birth perhaps

From the house of rain

Or some secret Spring of pain

Forming  two dream- pools for your swim

Two rivers of love for your stay

Two seas of wild ecstasy for your play

Here I’ m a casualty

For not knowing the depths

Of  the water here  I have jumped in

And  I’m flowing

Not at all knowing

That I have fallen into a watery grave

With none to save

Love to die a quiet death here

That’s all so very brave !

Comp. n copy right :saroj k. padhi

22/08/14

SHATTERED TO SING !

Shattered  by the ceaseless showers

From an insistent  cloudy sky,

Battered by a rough wind,

Bitten by bees and beetles

And  by each passing butterfly;

I bleed, I fall as thousand  shreds of petals

On leaves and grass beneath my feet

Soaked in  by the Sun all  dry

And  know not how to hold on

In the face of ravages

Wrought by my own cunning lovers

Who called me softly by my million names

Before kissing   me away to their formal ‘ bye’

As I shrank  like a bride new and shy.

Now look how they still continue to suck

From my  nameless wombs

The nectar from  honeycombs

As they plod on my body with their fling

And their  ruthless sting

I  quiver , I shiver before

I recollect those words of love spoken then

I compose songs of my broken wing

Before to you all I sadly  but sweetly sing.

Comp. n copy right : saroj k. padhi

21/08/14

MORNING MIRACLE

Everyday I meet you  first

On the  glassy cheeks of my window pane

Where I sense your presence

As you lurk there  in your light white dress

Delivering  messages of love from

New  night  flowers

Blooming  in our garden

For a new sun to bless ;

I meet you

In the  twitters of birds

In the boughs

Nestling softly against my window

In their excited  flurry

And songs of glory

About  fruits and  flowers

About petals’ ceaseless  scented showers

On my  roofs of asbestos ;

I meet you

In the haloed  look of  a smiley moon

Dangling  from the cheeks of dawn’s sky

Suffused with soft colours of an about- to- rise sun

As leaves shiver in excitement

Over day’s sweet snacks

In tune with the breeze that awakes

Sleeping souls daily  to new miracles .

Comp. n copy right : saroj k. padhi

20/08/14

DEAF, DUMB AND BLIND

See how  my  “I love you”

Has created troubles new !

To the  koel ,I said “I love you”

And the bird sang so much into my ears

Day in and  day out about each of her tears

In a tone sweet and sad without  any fears

That I turned deaf to the world of all  my near and dears.

To the blossom, I said  “I love you”

It blushed and beamed

She was quite mad it seemed

Offering  her sweetest smile and cheers

That have turned me blind to all other possible  colours .

And to the butterfly I said “ I love you”

She was drawn to my lips

With such  pollen under  her feet

That sucked all my words into her hot mouth

Turning me dumb for rest of my years .

Comp. and copy right : saroj k. padhi

19/08/14

WOMAN

you are almost me

in your body, mind and spirit

though today you speak of your  female body

with affectation

and sometimes soaked in poison

no wonder that such words

are at times not in equilibrium

i m almost you

in my body, mind and spirit

though I have spoken  too much of my male body

in the corpus of law, language and religion

no wonder such words now sink into oblivion

it is time

i and you became the one we

to shine like stars

of a clear blue sky

defining each in the other

in every weather

all that we need is

to understand that though our roots

that sprung from the soil same

may not be exactly the same

but we are to spread out

into body of the sky

not as body but as  breath

not  as spirits but simple faith

not as man or woman

but simply human.

Comp. n copy right : saroj k. padhi

19/08/14

SIKKIM

As I watch the trickles of tears flowing

From the corners of these mountains’ eyes

On my drive up the steep road to Nathula pass

I’m drawn  nearer to streams from your eyes 

Whose memory melts me again and again 

Into  murmurs of wind 

That sweeps across  miles of mute desire

Along stretches of vast green land

Swaying inside mind;

Your silence killed me then

Now it heals

With  a cold moist breeze 

Sprinkling vapours on dreaming faces

That float like clouds on hills’ lovely tresses;

Now I make this journey up the hard joints 

Of your body across time

To your icy head  skirting my  country

Where love is under  high alert

Life  is a tough knot 

And every breath  ,difficult 

Turning me into a drop in the  trickle

Down your body Sikkim

Where I would love to perish 

As I  vanish into this afternoon  rainbow in your eye.

Comp. n copyright :saroj k. padhi

18/08/14

DO NOT PLAY YOUR FLUTE, GOVINDA

Why are you playing  on your flute Govinda

Turning me on to shameless heights

Of exposure under this excited moon

Tickling  these  impatient Kadambas  

To shed every bit , what to say about

Their orange sarees under a white glare,

Sticky  with bees’ ceaseless love-bites

As you give your stunning looks

And   endless  cunning  stare ?

I’ m   neither happy  with you nor your beguiling song

For Jamuna is rotting in  trickles of her black tears

And the streets of Mathura  ,Brindaban , without rain

Romance of peacocks,growing  stale with  cow dung .

How can I  make love with you in this night of fears

Threatened by Dengue , violent  torrents and  tears?

Please stop playing that flute of yours  that sends tremors

To my timid heart soaked in love for you but without its cheers !

Comp. n copy right : saroj k. padhi

17/08/14

WAIT  FOR  END  TO  RAIN

When will this rain stop

With each of its  big drop ?

For I  don’t want it to sop

This body before I meet  her

On   the nearby  mound’s top

Under  that   age old banyan  tree

Where desires are completely  free

With leaves large dripping nectar

At the touch of birds alighting

To the  soaked boughs from afar .

She has promised  a lot for the evening :

Dew for lips, Oriole’s song for soul ;

Squirrel’s  touch for skin

And  sprinkles of petals

On  thick  bed of grass moist and green

Under  bowers , for tired bodies to roll .

Let me not  wet this body

With rain that has ruined  millions

Let me wait for Winter  to creep in

Inviting an end to all  such destructions.

Comp. n copyright : saroj k padhi

16/08/14

LOVE OF DARK

Wading thro’ darkness
Dripping like gems of pollen dust
From wings of black butterflies ,
Driving my way thro’ drizzles
Of honey in random drops of rain ,

Moist with memory of a sweet past
Eyes annointed with
Dim star-light
Soaked in evening dew ,
The rippling river alongside
Drunk with the love of a smiling moon
And I driving across time into a land of blue bliss
Lying at the end of road .

Comp. n copyright : saroj kumar padhi: 12/08/14

 — with Abhash Kumar Boraland 48 others.

IN A NIGHT BOAT

The boat is drunk tonight with love
Of ripples tingling her curvy bottom ,

Leaves watch and whisper to her ears
Secrets about moon beams
Prying into
The folds of her ragged raw body
Like that of a rustic lady in black ;

As she dozes before starting to move
This evening
Beside rows of wild Ketaki
Her knot-like breasts are
Lustily flicked by a gentle wind
In love of boat completely blind ;

Herons darting across , before their catch
Sweep their looks over her body on fire
And as she moves gently
The night fills her crevices
With shiny streams of wet desire
To the core of her bones and mire
Inviting one and all including the stars
to actively share
in this cosmic love of water with fire.

PINK PROMISES

Where are your promises gone?

Those pink promises made in the twilight

Of our tryst under a half moon

Under the Peepul in front of your hostel

When the Ayah shrilled out your name

And you rolled back like a timid  tide recoiling

Into the depths of a sea in the dark ;

But your words have

Kept ringing throughout

In the hollows of my being

Like old obsolete coins

Propelling me oft’ to sadly sing

Of that moon, that tree and  Ayah’s words

And those moments of merciless, moony  fling .

Comp. n copyright : saroj k. padhi

14/08/14

LOVING DEATH

I have seen death

A fraction of it  though

In your cold looks,

In your forgetfulness of the other

In me growing impotent with time ,

In your loving absent-mindedness

Filled with moon beams

With  utter disregard

To  my dry kisses on your rosy cheeks .

I have seen death

In  the touch your spittle

In my mouth leading to

A long  flow of sweet poison

Along a stream  of blind hate

Oozing a foam of a different love .

I see death

In  your turning away from my  shadow

In the afternoon of our separation

To fulfill an ordinary Sun staring at you

From above with hot shower

Of  false promises.

I die every moment

With you, without you,

Without you

With you.

Comp. n cppyright : saroj k padhi

 13/08/14