SURFING ACROSS GUILT

How long will I have to be patient and persistent

before I grow mature enough to understand myself

my foolish fancies ,my weaknesses, my angularities

my predilection to fall into lows of an abyss

while barging  into fits of passion and emotion

affecting the moon with burden of mythical stains

shocking flowers out of dreams in sleep

into moments of  undeserved guilt ?

How long will I take to build my cool

in the midst of my uneasy emotions

that propel me to stumble into

lusty dreams of the dawn for the night ??

Am I a cursed star in the sky of love

looking at splinters of self-image

in the bosom of a broken moon ???

Emotions my own blackmail me

under the blanket  of  the night

in this  house of  old doubts

with new fear and new fright .

But as night grows with me

Into its darkest hours

I see myself

on my newly acquired mirror

melting at the touch of my new  image

into a warm fountain of affection

to bond  with God

being the  only ambition

on the grave of all past emotion .

This is the prayer of a pervert

to Gods and goddesses of the night…

comp. n copyright : saroj k. padhi 05/08/14